I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
