Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
