we made out on top of his cat.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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