I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
