Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dicks are not precious.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize