Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it hurts more in the daytime
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
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Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
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Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
COCAINE IS GR8
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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