do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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