the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Someone shit on the floor
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
