When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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