you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
