i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
