going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
