she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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