yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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