i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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