Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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