i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize