I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize