I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
