Are we in a gay sports bar?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
