shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize