Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Still dying that you shit outside
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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