I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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