He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.