Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
