i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
