i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
