I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
