Betty ford says i'm here all night
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize