the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
