today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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