it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
