Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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