he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
