she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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