the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
did you just send me my own nude
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
