Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
