How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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