That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I need a beard to bite.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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