im holly from the hills drunk
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
