i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
