I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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