just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
