My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
