she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
