New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
