Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
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It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
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Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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