So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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