I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize