Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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