hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
