Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
