Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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