glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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