Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
is it fun? or sober?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
