If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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